Why Me?
by Hidden in the Flames
Summary: Yugi leaves Yami home alone for a day. Filled with Girl Scouts, telemarketers, prank callers, and broken appliances! ~R+R~


Hello! I'm really sick right now, and in a really hyper mood! Running around screaming would probably just kill me... So, I bring you:  
  
Why me?  
  
Yami: I have a bad feeling about this.  
  
Seto: Why, because you get tortured throughout nearly the whole thing?  
  
Bakura: Well, at least it's not me!  
  
Yami: *death glare at Bakura*  
  
Me: Aww... don't get me wrong. You're one of my favorite characters Yami! It's just fun to ... torture you. *grins*  
  
All: *sweatdrop*  
  
Me: *grin* Anyways, don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! *sniffs* (partially because of stuffed up nose). Besides, if I did, there would be a lot more Yami, Bakura, Seto, and Malik. And they'd probably be walking around half-naked most of the episodes.  
  
All: *slowly back away*  
  
Me: *grin* On with the fic!  
  
  
Chapter one: 3rd Degree Burns  
  
  
Yami was sitting home alone today. Yugi didn't want to bring him to school, because of the mishap with the whole sending the teachers soul to the shadow realm thing... It wasn't that big of a deal.... And Grampa had been gone the whole week due to some business conference for the game shop.  
  
He had been up since sunrise, and now he was sitting on the couch. He had been reading one of Yugi's books about ancient Egypt, and had quickly gotten mad that all the facts were twisted, and thrown the book out the window-which was closed. It had made a loud shatter, and Yami was afraid of what Yugi would do to him when he got home.  
  
Yami was afraid to turn on anything electrical, because he hadn't taken the time to figure out how they worked. Yugi had usually done everything. But bored out of his wits, Yami decided to figure out how to work the television, he had seen others do it enough times. He pressed one of the buttons on the pad that Yugi used to switch it on, but nothing happened. He pressed other various buttons and when that didn't work he threw the remote into the TV. Glass flew everywhere, and Yami quickly got up and ran out of the room.  
  
'Maybe that wasn't such a good idea...'  
  
Yami went into the kitchen. He knew how to use some of the things in there at least, like the sink and the refrigerator. Yami looked around for something to eat. He saw some bread, which was easy, he didn't have to cook it, and took a bite out of it. It was cold and spongy. Yami liked it the way that Grampa made it, when it was warm and crunchy. Yami spotted the thing that he used to make the bread crunchy, and went over to it. Not exactly sure how to use it he pressed a button down, then stuck his hand in to see if it was getting warm.  
  
"YELLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!"  
  
Yami was running around the kitchen like a madman. The damn thing was scalding hot! He quickly put his hand under the faucet in the sink, and turned the water on. The water came out all right, but it poured out burning hot. Yami once again screamed and turned off the water.  
  
He banged his head against the wall. "Why me? Why me?!"  
  
As he said that the phone rang. He picked it up and said, "Hello?"  
  
"Hello, are you upset with you current phone service?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh... Well, our company gives you free long distance, 24 hours a day... on every other weekend of the third month of every other year!"  
  
"I don't need a new phone service."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yes." Click.  
  
Yami hung up the phone.  
  
Riiing, riiingg.  
  
Yami picked it up agian.  
  
"Its only 10 cents a minute for the first 10 minutes, then $5.00 a minute after that! Could you resist a deal like that?"  
  
"Yes." Yami hung up the phone. It rang again, he picked it up and yelled into the reciver. "I DON'T WANT YOUR F*#@ING PHONE SERVICE!! NOW LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!!"  
  
"Uh... Yami?" It was Yugi.  
  
"Oh... hi..."  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Yami, suddenly remembering the TV and the toaster he broke, said, "Yes... everythings fine."  
  
"Are you wimpering?"  
  
"No.. I'm alright."  
  
"Ok... If you say so. I was just calling to check up on you."  
  
"Bye Yugi."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Yami set the phone into the cradle. He was hungry now. Knowing that Grampa had made some cookies and they were siting away from anything dangerous, Yami went off to find them. He found the cookie jar, and reached into it. There was nothing in it. He turned the jar upside down above his head and shook it. All of a sudden white powder came out of it and covered Yami from head to toe.  
  
'All I want is a cookie!'  
  
He started wimpering again, and decided to go take a shower. It couldn't be too hard... Could it?  
  
***  
  
Yami got upstairs, and went into the bathroom. He removed his flour covered clothes and stepped into the shower. He had done this before. All he needed to do was remember how he did it...  
  
He turned on the shower head and got lukewarm water coming out of it. Everything was going fine right now, all he needed to do was find the soap. He picked it up and got it wet and soapy. Yami smiled. He was doing something right. He started to wash himself, but the soap slid out of his hands and shot out of the shower. He buried his head in his hands.  
  
'It's still alright, I haven't bodily harmed myself yet.'  
  
He decided to forget the soap and try shampoo. He poured some stuff out of a bottle and into his hands. He accidentally spilled some on the ground and stepped forward and slipped in it. He waved his arms around him in order to catch his balance, but only succeded in making some of the blasted shampoo fly into his eye.  
  
"YYYYYYOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!"   
  
The stuff stung! He tried to get it out of his eye, but having shampoo on his hands, just got it in the other eye too. He quickly stepped out of the shower to find a towel and stepped in the soap he had dropped earlier. Yami slipped and fell, and banged his head against the toilet.  
  
"DAMNIT!!"  
  
Yami was positive he was cursed. He got up, clothes still strewn across the floor coverd in flour, and walked out of the bathroom. Yami heard the doorbell ring and went to get it.  
  
"Hello."  
  
It was a little girl scout, that looked about 8 or 9 years old.  
  
She gasped and was pointing at him. Yami looked down and relized he still had no clothes on. He blushed profusely and slammed the door shut.  
  
Outside he heard the muffled cries of the little girl. "Mommy! Mommy! That man was naked!!"  
  
This was not turning out to be a good day.  
  
***  
  
Aww... poor Yami! Tune in next time for more Yami torturing, Joey streaking across the front lawn, more telemarketers, prank calls, and an evil Girl Scout army! 


End file.
